Only That Which Has Worth

By Susan Sanford

Received this text message not too long ago from JA: "Worries are like birds. Let them fly over you...but don't let them build a nest on your head."

I'm not one to worry much. However, i thought that there is stuff i battle with constantly. The negative i allow to saturate my thoughts is self-defeating. It is like a bothersome buzz which keeps me from being productive. There is a big chunk of Scripture which exhorts us: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable --- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy --- think about such things...put it into practice. and the God of peace will be with you."

My friend AF taught me to say "release" when a thought intrudes upon my time of silence or quieting. Same with any negative thought --- which when not addressed, multiplies and becomes a habit or pattern of thinking. But since those thoughts come in hordes, i  must say "disperse" or "explode". Poof! There goes one...

A Prayer

I hold a basket in my hand

filled with my pain.

I carry the prayers

my own heart is shouting,

and that of those

whose pain i hear in the din.

In those scraps of paper

we have drawn the many arrows

that have pierced us.

In it we are showing you the chains 

that have bound us

and kept us

hidden from you.

As we open the gates of our hearts

receive that which we have exhaled:

the breath of hope and the sting of death.

Amen.

Layer Upon Layer

Going back to the dermatologist today for a Diamond Peel treatment. I'm excited to have old skin sloughed off including all the impurities that have taken up space in there. I love the metaphor of "peeling back the layers of an onion" --- used this once to introduce a  very good friend who was about to address an audience. The essence of a person is not found in the topmost layers obvious to everyone. Instead one needs to go deeper to the core to get to that savory part.

I find my spiritual journey quite slow and oftentimes disappointing. There is a  layer i wish i were on, yet am not. But then it dawned on me that it is okay. I just need to allow myself to be "peeled" film by sheet, by tier, by strata...by layer. Sometimes in life, none or just a little is revealed. Other times momentous, cataclysmic circumstances violently chop off multiple layers in my person.

There is a poem by Gertrude Jefferies which reverberates in me:

"Under construction! He's working on me.

Shaping my life as He wants it to be. 

Precept upon precept, line upon line.

Purging the dross until His image shines."

Van Gogh Sunday

Stayed away from his well-known sunflowers...

Here are his other flower paintings. 

And some of his quotes.

"As we advance in life it becomes more and more difficult, but in fighting the difficulties the inmost strength of the heart is developed. "

"Great things are done by a series of small things brought together. "

"I am still far from being what I want to be, but with God's help I shall succeed. "

"I experience a period of frightening clarity in those moments when nature is so beautiful. I am no longer sure of myself, and the paintings appear as in a dream. "

"An artist needn't be a clergyman or a churchwarden, but he certainly must have a warm heart for his fellow men. "

"Conscience is a man's compass. "

"It is not the language of painters but the language of nature which one should listen to, the feeling for the things themselves, for reality is more important than the feeling for pictures."

Lace

"Lace is as much about the space between the threads as it is about the threads themselves." -- Lori Howe

I love lace. In the olden days when mass production was not heard of, women patiently, painstakingly, skillfully created each wonderful masterpiece. Out of their fingers came magical nets of intricate and elegant beauty --- a gift of time and love. It is as if they have broken into the secret long kept by spiders.

Each weave has a plot --- its bigger story. So with our daily lives where what we think of as drudgery, even tragedy --- those seemingly ugly holes, or spaces, are as important to create a rich texture or pattern that makes our lives beautiful. 

Life Happens (Even in the Desert)

To survive, to continue life --- the key is the ability to reproduce. It may be through the help of animals, or the blowing of the wind, or via self-pollination. That's for desert flora. We can take a cue from these hardy plants whenever we find ourselves in that desert place of our lives: dead, dry, passionless, in deep silence, hardly any  life, empty, alone...detached from the rest of the world and its goods, its noise, its people.

Here's a link to an article on the Theology of the Desert.

http://philologous.blogspot.com/2011/02/desert-spirituality-for-reformed-people_23.html 

Hope it helps.

Channeling Flora

Spring. How i wish it were my inner landscape. The dry spell has not gone and i am still waiting for that refreshing sprout of new growth. The above is a detail of a Botticelli painting (La Primavera) i chose as a representation of that which i am waiting for. It is said that in this painting 500 kinds of flowers have been depicted (http://reviewofsorts.wordpress.com/2009/04/10/the-story-of-botticellis-la-primavera/). 

Wow! Such abundance. Such vibrance. So full of life. 

The Gardener's Daughter

Chanced upon this vintage-y illustration entitled The Gardener's Daughter. It has arrested me with my fancy for the rustic and pastoral. I  somehow had that persona aborted by the unexpected need for our parents to sell the hectare of farmland they intended to spend the rest of their lives in. A big chunk of my childhood was exposed to farming, tending to livestock, and yes, my parents' love for gardening. 

God is the consummate gardener. He knows the seasons perfectly well: sowing , tending and weeding, pruning, harvesting -- in the proper time. It is the season for pruning for me. I am glad i have a Father who knows what he is doing.

The Divine in the Mundane

It is said that to nurture the soul we just need be mindful of the significance of the ordinary.

Our youngest son, who stayed home after classes had been cancelled due to a continuous downpour, embarked on his second attempt at making the perfect leche flan. To the Spanish this dessert is called tocinillo del cielo (little pigs from heaven). To  his standards he failed. But the creation is my delight. 

The taste buds had something special --- out of the blue. On the surface. Going deeper: it also brings to mind a woman close to the heart. I know a lady who was sought out for the delicious flans she made. One had to order in advance to purchase a batch. She would not share the secret recipe except to say that she just had to be in the right mood for her to be able to whip up the heavenly sweets. The right mood would be one that is relaxed, serene, prayerful. You could tell she was spiritual by the many orders she would accept. Yet no one could force her to cook when she was feeling under the weather -- even if she needed the money. It just would  not turn out right.

One could imagine that combining the simple ingredients of egg, milk, and sugar had an element of ritual and the sacred. Almost as if she were a medium for the divine to enter the commonplace of our lives.

"Care of the soul requires ongoing attention to every aspect of life. Essentially it is a cultivation of ordinary things in such a way that soul is nurtured and fostered...If we do not tend the soul consciously and artfully, then its issues remain largely unconscious, uncultivated, and therefore often problematic." -- Thomas Moore

Note to self: Be mindful. Listen. Look carefully. No prejudgment. Appreciate.

Life is Short

"All men are like grass,

and all their glory is like the

flowers of the field;

the grass withers and the

flowers fall,

but the word of the Lord

stands forever."

Isaiah 40:6-8