Inclement Meditater

Strong rain.
Windy.

Best to stay indoors.

Lights went out. No internet connection.
No radio. No tv.

One board game with family. Then the kids are bored.

We take up our books which prove to be great company filling up the wide space
left by technology.

We sleep to our hearts content. Awakening to a world only with the sound of rain,
and the wind. More wind banging on the windows...spraying in the rain.

As the windows are shut, a rage is muted...with only the noise in my head.

After reading several entries in Nouwen's journal, my mind and heart rests. I reflect on my own
struggles with personal handicaps, joy, as well as pain in my own small corner, the shift of emotions,
friendships -- its constant need for affirmation and the necessity to mutually forgive, and understand...

The rain makes me soak in many thoughts. Both of gratitude and the longing to draw nearer to
the presence of God. Amen.

Fanciful

Was craving for cake today. It is that time of the month. I am glad that my husband shared with me his sans rival, a take home surprise given by our youngest son. Sweet! on all counts: the cake, the hubby, and our son. Such are the simple joys that make me heave a sigh of contentment.

Seeing the intricately cut paper cake doily, i reminisced on an old bundle of letters between my dad and my mom. As a little girl i used to climb up our green steel file cabinet and pry into its contents. In my quest for interesting things to behold, i chanced upon that bundle, keepsakes of two people in love. What caught my fancy was a beautiful love letter written by my father to my mother. I do not remember what the exact words were but i have imprinted in my mind the resourcefulness and thoughtfulness of a man who recognized the beauty of that doily and used it as a wonderful porter of his expressions.

Women and Flowers

"Flowers that are so pathetic in their beauty, frail as the clouds, and in their coloring as gorgeous as the heavens, had through thousands of years been the heritage of children - honored as the jewelry of God..." ~Thomas de Quincey

God's jewelry. So, so befitting.

Even without the most  precious stones one can ever imagine, women past and present have managed to adorn themselves -- with blossoms. There is something bewitching about flowers. It is as if a spell has been cast and the link between the female of our species and nature's blooms was set.

Reflections

"I think the mirror should be tilted slightly upward when it`s reflecting life -- toward the cheerful, the tender, the compassionate, the brave, the funny, the encouraging, all those things -- and not tilted down to the gutter part of the time, into the troubled vistas of conflict."  ~ Greer Garson

Went back to Chapter 11 of Melody Beattie's book.  To those of you who are in recovery or recovery work/service this would be very familiar. Chapter 11 is entitled Have a Love Affair With Yourself. I am guessing that many in our midst have a disintegrated self-worth, sabotaging their own selves with everything that negates the goodness of who they are. I am one of them. Why i beat myself up for lot of things beats me.  What i have been neglecting to do is to honor myself. As the book says, i need to give myself a big emotional and mental hug and eschew those that eat away at my perception of who i am. This is not to say that i do not acknowledge my weaknesses. It is just that i will not allow them to override my strengths.