Fresh Start

photo by CarolynsHope's photos on Flickr
Oh January! You are already walking out the door. Your stay has been too brief, i have hardly had enough time to collect 2011's milestones nor dust the cobwebs of plans that have remained just plans. And so i must rely on this song to keep me grounded: 

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases

His mercies never come to an end,

They are new every morning

Great is Your faithfulness."

Ever new, ever fresh, ever vigorous! 

Bottomless.  

Midnight Lace

Recently picked up reading an enlightening book called The Japan Diet. This book extols the wisdom behind traditional Japanese style of eating in getting healthier, and slimmer. One of the first healthy vegetables it talks about is the sweet potato --- to landscapers, Midnight Lace. And to regular housewives, kamote tops. 

The Britons have taken to including this in their grocery list such that it is now known as the trendiest veggie in Britain. Here's why:

"A leading consumer group, the Center for Science in the Public Interest, calls them 'a nutritional All-Star: one of the best vegetables you can eat and 'loaded with carotenoids, vitamin C, potassium and fibre'.

...celebrated by chefs...and praised by dieticians. 'Due to their antioxidant and fibre content, they are protective against heart disease and cancer'...'The high levels of phytochemicals and beta-carotene also protect the eye from disorders like macular degeneration.'

...'apart from its unique and nutty taste much of the sweet potato's popularity stems from it being delicious and filling but low in fat making it a dieter's dream.' 

Well, who would ever thought that this 'lowly' vegetable is an All-Star, fare all too common here in the Philippines, blanched shoots served as ensalada topped with fresh tomatoes, chopped onions, and bagoong (fermented fish paste). I say lowly because in days of yore when our grandfathers did poorly in school, their teachers would tell them to 'just go home and plant kamote' which meant the teacher saw you as dim-witted and that it was more productive of you to do some farm activity than remain in school.

I feel so blessed having these thriving in my backyard. Fact is, we have regularly harvested its shoots that we may have fresh produce on the dinner table. But now after what i have read, i appreciate them all the more.

Partners in Creation

Red Flowers by Ella Becker

Blue Flowers by Ella Becker

Just last night at the dinner table, my long-time friend proposed that we enroll in a summer art class under the famous Fernando Sena. It has  piqued our interest after another friend's gushing over how her 9-year old daughter has progressed in her art after undergoing those classes. My daughter, a 25-year old artist by profession came under Sena's tutelage, too,  many years ago. And so was her former artist boss. 

There is something about wanting to produce something. Like an itch that won't go away, those creative juices need expression. Shape that bonsai, splash on the oil paint, carve that wood, sew those scraps of cloth, write that novel, cook that dish, grow those seeds, pound away on that metal, compose that song, create a bouquet. Frenzy, passion, fervor, fever. Whatever shape or form it takes.

We are certified co-creators by the Creator. 

“The important thing is that creation is God’s, and that we are part of it, and being part of creation is for us to be co-creators with Him in the continuing joy of new creation.”       ~Madeleine L’Engle

Bringing Up Ms. Me

By Elizabeth Silk

By Donna

Comfort by Henry Asencio

"In pieces, in a pile on the floor, with no idea how to go forward, your expectations of the future are meaningless. Your stories about the past do not apply. You are in flux, you are changing, you are flowing in a new way, and this is an incredibly powerful opportunity to become new again: to choose how you want to put yourself back together. Confusion can be an incredible teacher—how could you ever learn if you already had it all figured out?" - JulieJCPeters

First came across these words shared by a friend on Facebook. It struck me like a big jab on the head that forcibly let those chunks of memories tumble out... memories of those times when i curled up in fetal position from the hurricane within me and from the raging storm going on in my  world.

I look back and i think "wow!" I made it through each one of them. When i first had a taste of how life could be so hard and overcame -- i knew i was stronger. "What could be more difficult?" Yet one after another the challenges came like powerful torrents --- and after each one i would say the same: "What could be more difficult?" I used to think how i must have kidded myself, or worse -- deceived myself. Here's what's in my book: child sexual abuse victim, witnessing an infidelity, death by cancer of a loved one, abandonment by a lover when i got pregnant, child out of wedlock, addiction, marital problems, suicide, another addiction, dissolved friendships, debt. But hey, am still up. And the good news: i always had the choice, and still have the choice, and the power to put myself back together the way i want. True, confusion can be an incredible teacher. Life IS an incredible educator and trainer. Yet i can never claim that i  have it all figured out. My education is one lifelong attempt.

Arresting the Sentimental

Mail just in: 

"Your Mom's birth anniversary is the same as Carlos_P._Romulo -- the 14th of January. She would be 72 years old if she were alive.

 

Remember her on that day. Speak to her for guidance and for prayers. Surely, she intercedes for us in ways we can't fathom.

 

Love and regards,

Daddy "

That's my dad addressing us, his grown up children here in the Philippines. I know he would be right at my mother's tomb on that date were he not residing in the U.S. Personally, i do not subscribe to paying the dead visits at their final resting places. If  i do go, it is more my support for the living whose way of rekindling memories is to be physically next to where the dear departed are.

My brother and sister, on separate occasions, shared how they have dreamt of our mother showing up --- and they have taken that as a sign to go to the cemetery and pay her a visit. But i have not had any such dream myself. Most probably i have pushed the memory of her far back in my mind so as not to ache with pining. She counts as my topmost love-r, despite my many shortcomings and rebelliousness. I write, i delete ---- memories that are starting to trickle in. This could get sappy. And so i stop.

The only currency i can afford now is to be grateful that  she was the one who gave birth to me and no other. She is at peace. That is what matters.

One day we'll have a toast --- you, sissy, and me. In the meantime --- hope you are having a grand time.

Talitha Koum

Right smack into this new year i find myself. I have barely gotten around to dealing with stuff i had intended to fulfill, much less change. Just recently i set out on an adventure -- to dare develop a new skill, be in a new industry. Sadly, i failed. The emptying of whatever remaining contents in my confidence bucket is a temptation. The web of negativity looms. But i cannot afford that. If there is one thing i have decided not to do anymore is --- beat myself up -- for failures.

Next week i mark my tattoo's first year. "Talitha Koum" is inscribed on my skin. It means rise up, get up. I didn't have it permanently inked on for nothing. I will try again.

Talitha Koum

My mantra for this year is "be kind to me."