These past days i have been struggling a lot with insecurity...besieged with feelings that draw me away from those i hold dear in my heart -- family -- and, friends. I have the option, and the freedom, to be selfish and hold back time and affection. Looking at people through the tainted lens of my insecure heart i only see the imperfection in others. I observe and eventually validate their failure to meet my expectations.
I wrestled. A lot.
This morning i broke through that mesh. Thanks to the sparrows that regularly come to visit our small backyard...they always seem to be in a flurry of activity, yet without a care for whatever need or sustenance. Freely they flit from tree to grass, to clothes hanging out to dry (even occasionally crap on), peck at flowers, chirping with a joy only they can know --- but which i feel. It is good to sit quietly and rest the mind and just be open to the impressions that come from God.
What i have, certainly imperfect, is, i realize perfect and just right for me. Even the most beautiful of all roses has thorns...it's just part of the package.
It is so good to be content. It is wonderful to be grateful.
And so, my choice: to nurture and cherish that which i have been allowed by grace (only by grace) to have.
