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| Bird of Paradise |
Just got back from a Marrieds Retreat. It was a mix of young and not so young couples, all wanting to go notches higher in their relationship with their respective spouses. Some were hurting from the ravages of addiction, while others had just started on their journey in life together.
Common was the astonishment about where on earth did the paradise go? Like knots that needed to unravel, a lot of issues had to be brought into the open, acknowledged, and dealt with. Needless to say it was not easy. Definitely not the Eden we pictured.
After tackling communication issues, corrosive/ constructive behaviors, and other such elements that build or destroy a marriage, what impressed me was this ---- the necessity of friendship.
We learned reading something from John Gottman, a hotshot marriage therapist. His 35 years of research on marriage can be summed up in two points:
- Happily married couples behave like good friends, and they handle their conflicts in gentle, positive ways.
- Happily married couples are able to repair negative interactions during an argument, and they are able to process negative emotions fully.
Love your spouse. Be a friend.
